The Roots

Heads Up: Since it’s summer again and I suddenly have all this time on my hands, I am really working on completing my story. I am going through and trying to add details and events that I left out the first time around…

The Roots

“So just live, make mistakes and have wonderful times, but never second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly… where it is you are going”
– Sex and the City

During my senior year of high school, a teacher told me I should share my journey of living with scoliosis. I never really wanted to put my story out there because I do not think I’ve done anything special- thousands of people have had similar experiences as me. Also, I had no desire to open up to people about a part of myself that, at that time, I would have given anything to erase. Self-esteem is something I have always struggled with and I did not want to open up to people and show people how vulnerable I truly was. However, for some reason I during the summer of 2009, I started feeling the urge to write. I have always loved to write and I do not think I am half bad, but I never wanted to write about my back. But like I said, for a few weeks I had this overwhelming desire not only to write about my back, but also to do it publically. This still blows my mind. For those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I am really shy and unwilling to show my true self until I am fully comfortable. My best friend/ roommate/sorority sister can tell you, it took weeks of us living together (and a breakup) before I was really able to open up to her. So, like I said – for some odd reason, I wanted to share my story publically. I do not know where this is going to go, if people will even read it, or what will happen when I finish, but I am just going to start from the beginning…

[Added May 2010]
I cannot believe it has been almost a year since I started writing this blog and sharing my story. I love going back and reading these first words. I can remember how nervous I was to publish this post. In fact, I did not even tell my parents I was writing – they found out through a family friend. Now that I am a year into this, I can see that this has had a much bigger effect than I even imagined. I thought this was just going to be a way for me to remember my journey years from now and maybe a few of my family and friends would read it, but it has truly become a healing process for me. I can finally say that I am at peace with my past and I even want to turn my past into a future career.
This blog has kind of been like dumpster diving for the soul. If you do not know – dumpster diving is digging through someone else’s trash in hopes of finding a “treasure”. Who really wants to go through trash? But sometimes when you dig and dig deep down into the “trash” of the past, you can find a treasure. (Warning – I’m a cheesy person, get ready for it!)
BsR,
Ashleigh
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