I woke up this morning to a comment left on my blog. The writer, who was 48, left a link to her blog which is also about growing up with scoliosis. As I clicked the link and started reading, I was honestly taken aback by what I was reading. Not taken aback in a, “I cannot believe she is saying that” kind of way, but in a “what if this happens to me” way.
This individual also had a spinal fusion to correct her childhood scoliosis. She too, recovered and went on to live a normal life. She married and had three children, all boys to be exact. However, she continued to live in pain after her fusion. After deciding that the pain was interfering with the mother and wife she wanted to be, she went to the doctor. Although her spine was fused, it was beginning to curve into her body – flat back. The cure to her pain was a devastating blow, a second (even more risky) surgery to remove her rods. She is still waiting for her surgery.
As I read her blog, I could feel the tears developing in my eyes. What if this happens to me? What if this blog is a glimpse into my future? Since my spinal fusion, I have already experienced problems. In the three and a half years since my surgery, I have had to have ribs moved and I am currently recovering from IT Band Syndrome caused by my different leg lengths. What if I am always going to live a life in pain?
I guess the only thing I can do at this point is hope for the best. Even with all of the fear her blog stirred up within me, her strength does give me some peace.
“He has all our days planned for us. He holds my tomorrows. He holds me in the palm of His hand. I know this and I’ll try to remember this all the way through the journey.”